How to be really kewl.

What makes a Super Hero or Super Villain? Is it the messed up childhood? Wearing your underwear outside your pants? Laser beams that shoot out of your face? NAY. To be a Super, you must first follow the laws that follow:


To be a Super Hero, you have to:

1: Be rich.
2:If you do not have the above, then you must have a uber awesome super power.
3: If you are a female, then you are required to wear the skimpiest outfit made entirely of plastic, latex, or spandex.
4: If male, you must have striking good looks, and more-then-average muscle build.
5: All of the above, (In respected gender)



Now, to be a Super VILLAIN.

1: You have some kind of mental or physical scar that shuns you from society.
2: You must be incredibly smart, (As most super villains have a doctorate in something.)
3: You must be extremely rich, or extremely poor.
4: Most important of all, you must have an arch enemy! As The Batman is to The Joker, as Superman is to Lex Luthor, or Doomsday.
5: You should be insane.
6: Not afraid to backstab an associate.
7: All of the above.

So, if you meet all the requirements for the profession that you wish to pursue, then please. Strap on that Spandex, Gel back your hair, grab your useless cape, and hop out that door! Go on Super Heroes of tomorrow, go save Earth from an Asteroid, or perhaps send an Asteroid to Earth! Your call!


This guide does not protect you from Pregnancies, or having fucked up babies with The Thing.